From childhood, we are taught the difference between right and wrong, but as we grow up the choice is ours to do the “right” thing. However, what do you do if the wrong choice is what makes you happy? In many cases, the right choice is ignored because of selfishness and personal feeling. Some people feel guilt and others don’t, but does that make them a bad person? The lifestyle choices a parent makes can result in their child believing that everything their parents do is okay. Surprisingly enough, parents do make mistakes, just like everyone else. Sometimes a bad choice made by a parent can shape the way their child sees the world. Growing up in a family that is dealing with infidelity leaves children to believe that the twisted behavior is normal. Unfortunately, we do live in a society where individuals will cheat on their spouse for the thrill, but who is to blame for this wrong doing? After all is does take two.
In Sandra Cisneros’s story “Never Marry a Mexican” she goes into detail about an affair between Drew and Clemencia. Throughout the story Clemencia is seen to be a lost individual who doesn’t want to be “tied down” by marriage because of her parents failed marriage. Clemencia grew up incredibly close to her dad, and looked at her mom as if she was never good enough for him. She always talked negatively about her mother, and mocking her she would say, “But what could be more ridiculous than a Mexican girl who couldn’t even speak Spanish, who didn’t know enough to set a separate plate for each course at dinner, nor how to fold cloth napkins, nor how to set the silverware.” (Cisneros69). Her mother’s lack of homemaking skills seemed like a joke to Clemencia wondering what her dad saw in her. Later, her mother’s affairs would push her further away from her mom more than she already was. Her dad was looked at as being this amazing man, and yet he was cheated on; leaving Clemencia with little hope for herself stating, “I’ve never married and never will. Not because I couldn’t but because I’m too romantic for marriage. Marriage has failed me, you could say…Better to not marry than live a lie.” (Cisneros69). Dealing with family issues affected the way Clemencia looks at men, as if no one will be good enough. Clemencia believes messing around with married men is the best option for herself. She was certain she got the best part of the men without having to deal with all the baggage or drama. Believing that Clemencia states, “Just the sweetest part of the fruit, without the bitter skin that daily living with a spouse can rend.” (Cisneros69). She was convinced this was the way to live to avoid being hurt by a man. Although Clemencia’s actions are considered morally wrong, she proceeds to feel remorseful and thinks of herself as being crazy from time to time.
Infidelity is looked at as a taboo subject, yet we all know someone who has been through it or we have gone through it personally. An article goes on to state, “Sexual fidelity is one of the most important symbols of commitment in a relationship. Yet it is increasingly under attack from new pressures.” (DailyMail2017). Living in a society where lying and cheating is becoming the norm is terrifying. Imagine how marriages are going to be in the future if the same footsteps are being followed. When it comes to a husband cheating on his wife, the “other woman” is often to be looked at to take the blame. In “Never Marry a Mexican,” Drew ditched his wife while she was giving birth to their son so that he could spend time with his mistress, Clemencia. As if cheating in general wasn’t bad enough, he has another woman in his bed on such an important day for him and his wife, Megan. Later on in their lives, Clemencia proceeds to boast to Drew’s matured son, “…It’s not the last time I’ve slept with a man the night his wife is birthing a baby. Why do I do that, I wonder? Sleep with a man when his wife is giving life, being suckled by a thing with its eyes still shut. Why do that?” (Cisneros76). She begins to question her own actions as if she is acknowledging how messed up they truly are. It’s not until the end when Clemencia finally meets Megan and she begins to question her entire involvement with Drew. She went from being on a high horse knowing that she could ruin Drew’s marriage if she desired to becoming envious of Megan.
In the story “Never Marry a Mexican” it is easy to pity Clemencia and pretend that Drew is just a small part in her scheme of playing men. However, Drew is the one who should be looked as the morally wrong person here. Clemencia was just the girl who caught his attention, if she wasn’t around he would be off with a different girl, likewise with Clemencia. The main difference between the two, and their moral beliefs, is that Clemencia knows she is wrong, but she doesn’t mind because she wants what she cannot have. Her desire to have a man give her everything she could possibly imagine is far too out of reach. Furthermore, she messes with married men to simply pass the time and build her ego. Drew is an insensitive pig who doesn’t know how to appreciate the family and life he has. In fact, Drew’s behavior goes on to prove Clemencia’s stand point on marriage and men even more practical.
Living a life of lies and secrecy to avoid the emotional damage is all Clemencia knows when it comes to men. The people in her life have all proven her right, marriage is a joke. It’s easy for her to think that considering she witnessed several failed marriages throughout her life. In the relationship between Clemencia and Drew, they are both equally at fault for ruining relationships. As Drew’s proceeds to ruin his marriage, Clemencia with continue doing the same with other men. Until she meets a man that isn’t married, treats her as she wishes, and is honest she will continue to believe all marriages are pointless.
- Figes, Kate. “The Infidelity Epidemic: Never Have Marriage Vows Been under so Much Strain. Relationship Expert Kate Figes Spent 3 Years Finding out Why Adultery Is Now so Worryingly Common.” Daily Mail Online. Associated Newspapers, 19 Apr. 2013. Web. 11 Apr. 2017.
- Cisneros, Sandra. Woman Hollering Creek. London: Bloomsbury, 2004. Print.