5 February 2018
“SCREW YOU!” Closing my laptop, frustrated with my team. Having lost seven games on my Dota 2 account. Why can’t my team just listen to me and follow instructions? You know what? Let ‘s play another game, I think I might win this I just need to get better teammates. Forty minutes later “SCREW THIS GAME!” Closing my laptop out of frustration again. I knew this was only a video game, but how can someone lose eight games in a row. I decided to take a break from playing. In that break, I asked myself this “how easy was it for me to lose control over a simple video game do other people lose control as easily as I do in video games?”
Self-control, some people don’t have it, and it is understandable to not knowing how to control it or how to release it. Willpower touches nearly all aspects of living healthy, not doing drugs, eating healthy, studying more. But it is easy to lose focus and maybe try that drug or eat that cake. Video games are the worst because you can lose your self-control quickly if things don’t go as you expected and you just start screaming at a screen. I learned to control my anger not only in a video game but also in real life where I always hated myself because I was not good enough that my skills were trash. While growing up kids, teenagers learn new methods on how to control or release this anger. One approach is to meditate. Having a calm mind and analyze your thoughts knowing what you are about to do or just relaxing your brain trying to maintain those ideas and letting them go one by one.
My mother was worried that I did not know how to control my emotion’s I have had for a long time. So, she sent me to therapy. There I learned how to speak to a person and her telling me methods. Such as meditating, listening to music, exercising, or talk to someone who understands you and will help you with whatever emotion you have curled up inside of you.
Having been in therapy, it was hard for me telling someone my problems. But for eight weeks going to a one-hour session every Thursday, it was helpful. It made me start to realize maybe it’s not a good idea to get angry and merely let problems pass by and not think about it too much because it is not healthy for the people around me or myself. Sure, their other things I was angry about not just video games but also personally that I would not like to talk about. Having self-control for some people is easy maybe some people don’t get angry as quickly as others. And have the willpower to keep on going and make right decisions like not talking to this person because you want to punch him for some reason and you just walk away and avoid the situation.
Willpower as a resource we use to help us do the things we know we should do – the things that are good for us. So why then would anyone ever exert willpower to do something that isn’t good for them? While we continuously beat our self with bad words saying we suck, I messed up, what am I doing, we don’t take the time and say hey I did something right. Usually, we don’t have the self-control to mention an excellent job to oneself. We can put restraint as a tool it can be good or bad. I try to go out with a clear mind every single day.
Having emotions is part of our lives, but those feelings can’t affect our judgment. We must keep our emotions under control always. Whenever feeling takes over reason isn’t an option anymore. Whenever we get disciplined when we were younger, we thought of it as if we were being punished but depending on the person raising you he or she was only trying to improve, to prevent, and to help you become a better person or like we like to call it self-discipline.
Many articles are showing how to strengthen your self -control or ten steps of what to do to improve self-control, will power and they go into what you hear from your mom or friend, but going therapy and talking to someone in person is different than reading an article. Talking to someone is different especially when you meet someone knew. The development of self-control is trying to figure out where you need strengthening from eating, shopping, drinking, work, gambling, or smoking it’s good to repeat to yourself; I am in control of my reactions, I am in charge of my behavior, I am entirely in control of myself. I am are two strong words whatever you attach to I am you become what ever you connect to your I am it becomes your experience if you attach negativity to your I am that will become final decision we are always obeying our commands and we have control ourselves wisely because you will become what you say you are. And that will manifest to your reality, and it will affect others around you worrying them. Once I learned this, I started believing in myself that I can control myself and there is no excuse to not trying.
In 2014 Jonathan Bricker a researcher focused on the development and testing behavior change, and he made a video on self-control. He talks about the secret to restraint, and that secret is to give up self-control because as he says, “we get into a tug of war with a monster a craving monster going back and forth, and eventually the craving monster wins, and you have whatever you were craving, and that monster comeback to do the same thing repeatedly. And sometimes we should just drop the rope and let that craving monster into space in your body, and learn it not as bad as you think and sometimes that craving goes away.”
So doing my research and looking into my past I can say I learned many things over the years of self-control and methods on how to deal with craving or emotions maybe shortly I can help someone who has the same problem as I used to have.
“The Willingness to Crave | Jonathan Bricker.” KCTS 9 – Public Television, 25 May 2018, kcts9.org/programs/tedxrainier/willingness-crave-jonathan-bricker.
Sasson, Remez. “How to Develop and Strengthen Your Self-Control.” SuccessConsciousness.com, Success consciousness, www.successconsciousness.com/self_control.htm.
Weir, Kirsten. “The power of self-control.” Monitor on Psychology, American Psychological Association, Dec. 1AD, www.apa.org/monitor/2012/01/self-control.aspx.