I’ve been in the hospital for over 13 hours waiting for something to happen I couldn’t move around because waist down I was numb from the epidural. As I’m sitting there trying to wrap around my head that I’m going to have a baby and second now. My boyfriend tries to distract me by rubbing my back but I started to feel weird like I needed to poop. I then called the nurse over to see what we can do and she looked under my gown and said: “ Its time to push.”. My heart beat immediately started to race and I’m just freaking out internally. Out of nowhere, all these people with face masks and scrubs rush in and my mom and sister too. They put an oxygen mask on me and put my legs up and I pushed the hardest I could that my eyes disappeared from squinting so much. My face was as red as a tomato. It felt like I was going explode and then a couple minutes later she was here. I felt like I ran around the world, I was so drained and sweaty. I didn’t hear her cry but I saw her covered in white stuff It kind of felt like I gave birth to an alien I was so tired and amazed that it happened so quick I had no words to say, I then see my boyfriend crying and I started to cry. They didn’t hand me her immediately and I became worried, I then asked one of the nurses “Is she okay?” they didn’t say anything they just looked at me with a blank face. The nurses cleaned all the slimy stuff off of her and put her on my chest I was in awe; I couldn’t believe that came out of me. She stayed at my chest for a little while my family stared at her. The nurses then took her off my chest and were taking her to the NICU. The doctor came up and told me “that was really fast congrats.” She also said that my daughter would be in the Neonatal intensive care unit or NICU because she has an infection due to pooping in her amniotic sac.

They took her away and I was just lying there with my family and friends they came over to say hi and congrats. The first thing I asked was for food but the only thing on my mind was Rhea. I was upset because I couldn’t see her until my epidural wore off. All I wanted to do is hold her. After getting some rest I went to go see my daughter I couldn’t walk yet so I had to go in a wheelchair. They took me to her room and there she laid all wrapped up and with IVS all over her.  One of the nurses said, “right now she’s not eating that much but you should try and feed her skin to skin.” I picked her up and fed her and stared at her for a while. I still couldn’t believe that she was here and not in my belly anymore. After a while, I had to go back to my room. That was probably one of the hardest things because I didn’t want to leave her alone but I had to tell myself that she is going to be okay.

3 in 10 teenage girls get pregnant before twenty years old. I was one out of those three. When I told my mom that I was pregnant she was very upset not only because I told her when I was at the doctors but I told her to fill out my form and she circled not pregnant and then I corrected her that I am. She stared at me with so much anger, we left and the ride home was quiet. She didn’t talk to me for a couple days and then one day she told me” I’m not going to help you, she’s going to be your responsibility now” I said “okay.” she kept telling me I was too young I got pregnant at 17 and gave birth to a girl. It saddened me that I couldn’t bring her home, I was there every day to see her until the nurses kicked me out.

A week and a half has passed and when I went to go visit her at the hospital they told me I can finally take her home they said that she is eating much better and she’s done with her antibiotics, I was so happy I called my boyfriend to come and to bring her car seat and clothes. The nurse began to take off all her IVs and got her a box filled with many things like diapers, formula, tape etc. As soon as my boyfriend arrived I dressed her in a little teddy bear outfit. We wrapped her up and proceed to leave. When we got outside it was raining cats and dogs. We drove very slow on the way home when we got there it was late I began to get her ready for bed, I fed her burped her, changed her and wrapped her in her blanket and I laid her down she fell asleep pretty fast. I was happy that I can rest now, a couple hours later she woke up to be fed changed and burped again, but this time she didn’t want to fall asleep, she kept crying. I then began to freak out and start crying too because I didn’t know what to do, it was late and I didn’t want to wake anyone up. I tried rocking her and console her but she still kept crying. I grew up with a lot of nieces and nephews and I tried to remember what my mom would do when they wouldn’t stop crying. One thing I remembered she told me is that she would always wrap me in my blanket very snug. so I tried it and it worked all she wanted to be was wrapped up.

As she grew I tried to remember what my mom taught me. Such as changing a diaper, how to hold her correctly, how to feed her and some other things she didn’t mention for example kids like to smear poop all over the walls and crib and how they like sticking Legos up their nose. I’ve learned that being a parent comes with a lot of responsibilities and that I now have to put her first before me, you need to have a lot of patience and also appreciate my mom more because she had to do this 6 times. Till this day I’m learning new things, it can be very overwhelming sometimes but at the end of the day, she is the best thing that has happened to me.  I thank my mom for showing me how to do these things because if it wasn’t for her I don’t know what I would’ve done probably rip all my hair out and cry more than a baby.