I am my Mother’s Daughter
Everyone who reads “Never Marry a Mexican” is very quick to look down on the main character Clemencia for her choices but I don’t think it’s that easy. I think that she became who she was taught to be and who she learned to be. This could be from her parents, her siblings or maybe even a trusted teacher. This girl did go through some pretty traumatic stuff when she was younger so it is no surprise that she became the woman she became.
From a young age Clemencia’s mother told her “never marry a mexican” because she did and he was very traditional. He was born and raised in Mexico while she was born and raised in the United States but in a mexican household. Even though they were both mexican and taught mexican culture they were taught it differently. From day one the relationship was not sound, they would always feel like the other ones beliefs were wrong so to try and protect her daughter she just told her to never marry a mexican so she wouldn’t have to deal with the same struggle. Clemencia was raised being told to basically abandon her culture and just go for a rich white guy to support her. Her mother was also un loyal to her husband so again Clemencia is learning these negative things from her mother which will stick with her her whole life. Even worse, her mother cheated on her husband while he was sick and in the hospital which would have a very strong impact on Clemencia as she had always connected with her father more than her mother so after hearing what her mother did it drove a wedge even farther in the family. Then to add insult to injury the mom then married and children with the man she was having an affair with. What mother could put her children through all that? Now saying her mother made her the way she is isnt fair because Clemencia does acknowledge the fact that what she is doing is wrong but she also says that she saw what marriage did nothing for her mother and father so why does she need to get married? Her mother did love and care for Clemencia and her siblings but her mother also taught her terrible things and those terrible things followed clemencia throughout her whole life.
It would be unfair to put all the blame on the mother though because in the book Clemencia keeps dating men that are married but she couldn’t do that if married men didn’t go looking for new woman. We usually blame women for being the homewrecker and ruining the relationship but what about the man who had an equal part in bringing that girl into all this? In the story the main male character is named Drew and he was married but also clemencias teacher. The two of them ended up dating and on the day of drew’s child being born drew was back at home with Clemencia in Drews bed. This is almost exactly what Clemencias mother did to her husband, she left him in his time of need to be with someone else. Drew does actually eventually end up leaving his wifr and taking the kid after actually introducing Clemencia to his wife to really hit home that their dirt bags. None of this would have happened if Clemencia never got together with Drew but Drew made a conscious effort to keep pursuing Clemencia and to keep their relationship a secret from his wife so it’s both their fault not just her. Maybe there is just some thrill they got sneaking around that made them keep going, they knew it was wrong but the rush they got from trying to hide it was more important. It’s like skydiving or surfing, it’s scary, fun and dangerous because at any moment the whole thing could go wrong and everything comes crumbling down around them. So maybe this whole thing wasn’t love it was just chasing the forbidden fruit, it was taking the thing you’re not supposed to have just because you can. So can you really blame them? Everyone has taken a cookie out of the cookie jar without asking.
Everyone is so quick to blame the girl for cheating but so many other factors play into it all. I personally find Clemencia to be a very deep and complex character who could easily be overlooked once you finish the story. But she allows us to look at ourselves and society as a whole and really see how we view the roles and dynamics of men vs women.