There I was, dancing my life away being surrounded by the quincerareas family and friends and then all of a sudden there’s a tap on my shoulder. As I turn around our eyes lock and that very moment I realized that this boy was going to change my life. He reaches out and politely asks “may I have this dance?”. I look up into his big brown eyes, having the biggest smile on my face replying with a shy yes. So there we were dancing. He begins to spin me around and that’s when I realized, “Wow, this boy might be what I was just looking for” tall, handsome, poilite, knows how to dance.. And just before I thought the list was over he grabbed me by the hips, pushes me close to him and whispers in my ear “estas bien hermosa”. After that I was done, he blew me off my feet, especially because he knew how to speak spanish. So as the night went on, there we were dancing, talking, laughing and before we knew it, it was already midnight and the party had ended. We exchange contact information and go our separate ways. And well you know the routine, two people start texting. Afterwards they start hanging out. Few months later he asks the girl to be his girlfriend and that’s what happened. But surprisingly I said no. But then weeks counited to  pass by again, and once again we were dancing, laughing, having the time of our lives all over again but this time it felt like we were the only two people in the world

and there again im asked to be his girlfriend. As I feel my blood rushing through my body I said yes..

So there we are in the lovey dovey phase of a relationship. No fighting, no disagreements, meeting each other’s families and just having my heart filled with so much joy and love. But then.. Comes the arguing. I came to the realization that he did drugs, weed and sometimes things that were a little stronger than that along with alcohol and I personally wasn’t a big fan of that.  So I talked to him and tried to make him stop. He said he would. Did he? Nope. Many of my friends would tell me “you know that’s the start of a toxic relationship. Leave while it gets worse.” But a girl being a girl, I didn’t listen and continued to stay. So once again we were fighting about the same thing and I realized that I can’t make someone stop an addiction from one day to another. So there we were trying to compromise to solve the problem. 2-3 days past by and everything seems to be okay, at least it felt as if. But a week later I realized that the compromise didn’t work, he just continued doing his drugs without any hesitation. Of course I got upset, but I kept telling myself that getting rid of an addiction wasn’t easy. So I try again and compromise but it didn’t work, the whole time there was just fighting, and lying, crying and it wasn’t okay but since I wanted to be with him so badly I tried to let it go and let him do as he pleases.

Saturday night, and it’s a small get together of his friends and my friends celebrating a friend’s birthday. We’re all sitting around the bonfire

laughing, drinking and simply having fun. Soon we all get up and go our separate ways, he went with his friends as I went with mine. Then after awhile I turned around and there he was doing his drugs as always. I let it go since we were there to have a good time not a bad one. An hour or so passes by and he calls me to come and hang out with his friends. So I go and as soon as I arrived he starts telling his friends that I’m his “bitch”. Not his girlfriends but he’s bitch, I was a little hurt but I let it go. A few hours passed by and he was too drunk to even walk.. Its 3 in the morning and everyone had to go home, but I’m spending the night so I was able to stay. So of course I was worried about how he was going to get home. He wanted to walk but I was not about to let him. So I go and ask his friend if he could drop him off, but before he could answer, my boyfriend gets mad and starts screaming, and yelling at me. He takes me to the corner and as he’s choking me he screams into my face

“STOP F***** WORRYING ABOUT ME. I COULD TAKE CARE OF MY F***** SELF. “ He picks up his other hand as if he was about to hit me but his friends call him and end up leaving. Everyone left so my friend and I went to her room to sleep. I didn’t say a word about the situation.

It’s the next day and I go quad riding with his family near Rancho Cucamonga and it was like any other quading area. There were small hills, medium hills,

big hills, and some areas where it was just going straight forward. His sister and I go ride together and end up falling and getting hurt. We come back no ones there so we sit down and wait. His family shows up first and then him. Once he got off his quad he starts screaming “where the f*** where you guys” and walks away. Keep in mind he didn’t know we were injured. He walks back and sees the cuts all over my arms and how much I was bleeding and he soon starts screaming again. He grabbed me, and pulled me away from everyone so we can “talk” but all he did was yell. He wanted to hit me but he’s mom came and told him to calm down. Eventually everything was okay. As so i thought.

Here we are finally broken up because he no longer wanted to be with me. I try to fix things between us, even when my close friends would tell me not to because that was nothing but pure toxicity. But of course I wouldn’t listen, all wanted was him so I even considered doing drugs with him. But no it was done and over with.. So my friends have another party for another birthday and I went and he showed up. He sat down in front of me and wouldn’t take his eyes off me. We start playing beer pong. Him and I were in a team

and enjoyed each other’s company, in fact we even ended up winning. Music plays and I go dance with my girls as he continues to play with his friends. I turned around and there he was sweeping me away to dance. After weeks of being broken up, my blood was rushing through my body with happiness, and in that very moment everything felt like it was going to be okay. I walk to the restroom and he follows me, starts kissing me. I stopped, sat down, and cried. All the sadness that I felt before finally exploded out of me. He screams and yells asking me why im crying. He grabs me by the throat and yells in my face “stop f***** crying”. He bits my lips and starts to explain how horrible of a person I am, how he wants me back but how he’s hurt that i want to go do my own thing after we broke up. In that moment I felt like it was all my fault, I felt that our relationship was over because of me. But there he was still yelling at me, so my friend comes and tells us that we need to take it down because her dad started to get worried. So we go outside and he pulls me by the arm so we can continue “talking”. I tried to say that i’m sorry, that it was my fault. He just kept bashing on me, making me feel like I’m the worst person in the world. He picks up his right hand, about to hit me but ends up stopping himself, the tears start falling down my cheek. I tried to hold it in but they just would stop so he walks away and my friends come and comfort me telling me that “he’s not worthy” that “he’s nothing but trash”. He tries coming close to me but my friends wouldn’t let him so he leaves the party. I finally began to cool down and I text him if we can actually talk sober, when he’s not drunk. But in so many words all he really said was that there was no point in being with me because it was all my fault. 

Without a doubt in that very morning I realized that I did nothing wrong. All I ever did was support him and be kind to him. I gave him chance after chance even when he would lie to me and treat me the way he did, even after he would continuously put his hands on me, yell, scream and call me names. So for someone to pull it all on me for doing my own things after being broken up made me realize that he didn’t deserve me. He didn’t deserve my love and support. That an asshole like him shouldn’t be with someone like me. Took me a long while to realize it, but thanks to the help of friends I ended up okay and letting go. Sometimes you want to deny what everyone says and just make yourself hit rock bottom but you eventually realize how toxic a relationship can be. But you can walk away from it, just like how I did and after this whole experience I’m living and loving my life.