Sleeping around with married individuals may cause harm to one’s own mental health in ways unimagined. The way that one is brought up can have major tolls on their actions later in life, which can lead to extensive amounts of distress. For instance, in the story “Never Marry a Mexican”, Clemencia has psychological issues due to her parents, sexual choices, and search for companionship. Her upbringing introduced many negative habits that show throughout the story. As we dive into Clemencia’s lifestyle, her mental instability and interior struggles will rise to the surface. Clemencia will be analyzed in stages throughout her lifetime to distinguish these mental mishaps occurring.
Children who experience hardships or trauma at young ages are more likely to develop unhealthy routines and poor decision making. A study at the University of Wisconsin- Madison states “. . . that risk taking in young adulthood might be influenced by the experience of childhood trauma” (University of Wisconsin-Madison). In the story, Clemencia had a very rough childhood. Her father became very ill and her mother began to sleep around with other men. Her father’s death was very traumatic and affected her greatly. To make matters worse, Clemencia had expected her mother to care about her ill father, sadly that was not the case. Once her father had passed, Clemencia’s mother quickly moved on and abandoned the family she had spent her whole life with. The absence of her mother left her stranded without support or moral guidance. From a young age, Clemencia began to sleep with any man to fill the void. This void was unachievable with the ways that she perceived them to be. Unfortunately, this lead to immense amounts of sex with disloyal married men.
Casual sex, especially during adolescents, has been known to have many effects on a person. These can include cases of depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and countless others. Although Clemencia willing engaged in these acts for pleasure, she cannot prevent these feelings to occur. As Ph.D. Susan Whitbourne concluded, “Feelings tended to be more positive before and during a hookup, and more negative afterward” (Whitbourne). This is especially true in Clemencia’s case, due to most of her sexual encounters being with married men. Any married man she could seduce into sleeping with her, she would. She began a revolving door of men coming in and out of her life, searching for the love she had longed for. However, she did not take into consideration that the men had wives and did not truly love her, they only tolerated her for the pleasure she gave. Because these men did not love her, Clemencia was faced with constant disappointment. As Psychology Today states, “Cheating can have a heavy emotional impact on all involved,” proving the toll this all takes on Clemencia (Ap Psychology). In conclusion she fantasized about how intervening in other marriages could magically take away all her problems.
Clemencia saw how the men were happily married and couldn’t help but to be jealous of their wives. She wanted to be loved by someone and thought she could take their place by seducing their husbands. This kind of thinking gave Clemencia a desperate and toxic mindset. She was so lonely and desperate for love that it caused her to become a morally wrong woman. Ph.D. Robert Firestone states how “Hunger (for love) is a powerful emotion, which is both exploitive and destructive to others when it is acted out” Meaning her sexual choices are not benefitting anyone, not even herself (Firestone). If anything, her yearning for love and affection from the men deepened. This affects her mental state by creating her to become despiteful and petty towards the wives. In one instance, Clemencia even went so far as to tamper with one of the wife’s makeup by smashing candy into it. Amplifying the desire to fill the shoes of the wives of these unfaithful men. She continued to let her frivolous lifestyle take control and continue her downward path. Her fate is just inches away for her to reach it and change, but her mind is fully stretched to its max potential holding her slightly back.
A phrase to describe Clemencia would be, mentally unstable. This being because she has experienced an extensive amount of trauma, a never-ending cycle of infidelities, and a need for a significant other. She has been tormented for years. She is living in an illusion trying to find true love from a man who is already united with another woman. Sadly, all Clemencia’s flaws can be tied back to her parents starting the fire under her to seek fornication. Everyone can point the finger for who caused every flaw that she has, although it comes down to Clemencia being willed enough to break the cycle. With potentially finding a man of value, she can begin to raise her self-esteem and become a happy individual on her own. Clemencia needs treatment to enhance her mental state, to become the woman for the man she has been longing for. Healthy habits create positive mindsets, Deborah Ward, a psychologist, implements that “Compassion for yourself means showing concern for your own feelings as well as for others” (Ward). The beginning of a new chapter for Clemencia to reach her best life would be to start putting herself before others. She has willingly let these married men take what they want from her. If she switches her routine, positive outcomes could become present.
Work Cited
Firestone, Robert W. “Emotional Hunger Vs. Love.” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, 24 Feb. 2009, www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-human-experience/200902/emotional-hunger-vs-love.
The Guest House. “Does Childhood Trauma Affect Adult Decision Making?” Does Childhood Trauma Affect Adult Decision Making? | The Guest House, 30 Mar. 2018, www.theguesthouseocala.com/does-childhood-trauma-affect-adult-decision-making/.
Psychology Today. “The Impact of Infidelity.” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, www.psychologytoday.com/us/collections/201408/the-impact-infidelity.
Ward, Deborah. “3 Ways to Learn to Love Yourself.” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, 17 Jan. 2014, www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sense-and-sensitivity/201401/3-ways-learn-love-yourself.
Whitbourne, Susan K. “How Casual Sex Can Affect Our Mental Health.” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, 9 Mar. 2013, www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201303/how-casual-sex-can-affect-our-mental-health.
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