Class at 5:15, same time and place.
Due Today
Rough Draft of Causal Analysis for peer review
Grading Criteria
- Clarity of Thought. Clearly defined the subject of analysis and the cause/effect that is explored.
- Critical Thinking. Can write reasonably and logically, exploring the causal relationships.
- Appropriate tone and organization for a causal analysis.
- Sources and use of sources to support the analysis with evidence.
- Appropriate title and proper use of visuals.
Peer Workshop
Peer edit the same way you revise your own work. Work on the global, higher order concerns, first.
Be specific in identifying problems or opportunities. Point to places in the text where you notice something. Don’t say organization is confusing, show them where it is confusing.
Use clear sentences and thoughts when commenting. Don’t just say awkward, explain what it is you find awkward.
Offer suggestions for improvement. Don’t just criticize, offer suggestions for revision.
Praise what is good in the paper. What is working well? What did you like?
Keep comments tactful. Treat another’s work the way you would like yours to be treated.
Peer Review Questions
You can answer these questions to help out the writer. Copy and past into the comment section and answer and make suggestions.
- Is the monster clear?
- Did they use Monster Theory?
- Do they have a clear thesis statement?
- Are they focusing on Causes or effects?
- Clearly show the type of causal relationship?
Quick Write
What changes are you going to make to your essay?
Professor Ramos' Blog 
the changes i need to make on my essay is adding in photos to show my monsters progression through life and how those who aided in his influences changed his demeanor and mind set. I also need to strengthen my conclusion and bring together the essay to end it on a good note rather than abruptly.
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the changes i am going to make to my essay are adding in a couple of pictures and also incorporating monster theory into it . also i am going to work on my rescourses and work cited
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The changes I am going to make in my essay would be incorporating the monster theory with my monster in a better manner. Also, I’m going to add more incidents to withing their lifespan as to why they became a monster. Lastly, find good pictures that can resemble the monster of the individual who I am writing about.
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The changes I’m going to make to my essay are adding photos of Ted Bundy so that my audience can visually see who I am talking about. Furthermore, I will add more detail about his childhood and upbringing and cite more sources that show the link between abuse as a child and inappropriate or violent behavior as an adult.
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The changes I am gonna make are adding pictures as I forgot to do so and elaborate a bit more on some of the points I was discussing in my body paragraphs.
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The changes I am going to make on my essay are add visuals to better explain things such as the areas and diversity of the night stalkers kills. Also the very dramatic way he was finally captured I wanted to add a link to the American horror story episode portraying this scene. Another change I am going to make is add more scholarly sources.
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The changes I will make to my essay is to make a clearer point. I’m also going to add more scholarly resources. I want to make sure my causes don’t overlap the same information, and that I apply my monster to the monster theses effectively.
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I plan to add more insight from a scholarly source about the link (if there is one ) between childhood abuse and mental illness or I violence, as it will further strengthen my argument about what caused my monster to become evil. I also need to add an entire paragraph to connect monster theory to my monsters life.
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For my essay I plan to make a clear thesis, incorporate the monster thesis into my essay in more places instead of just one, have pictures of my monster and pictures of him doing things, and have a clear saying instead of rambling on about him.
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The changes I am going to make in my essay will be to make my introduction more compelling, add clearer points to my thesis statement, and work on transitions in the body paragraphs. I also want to add a picture of my monster, and make sure the conclusion matches the introduction.
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For my essay I will be working on improving my connection between my monster and the monster theory and include some images. I also think my introduction might be a little long so I’m going to fix that up. I’m not 100% if my thesis statement is 100% sure when my family was reading they thought it was but I think I’m going to work on that a bit more.
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I will be looking up the way to properly display pictures in MLA format for my essay as well as adjusting a couple sources used, making sure all citations are displayed properly.
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The things I would change about my essay will be being more specific on monster theories And how my monster fit into what theory. Definitely going to fix my grammar having multiple people pre-pre-review my essay and add more Details on where I get the information from like siding the work I get from other citations.
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I’m pretty much done, but I need to cite my evidence, incorporate the Monster Theory, and establish a better thesis statement.
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