siloette double exposure of couple

Noah Rougely

Professor S. Ramos

ENGL 102

21 June 2018

Lowering the Divorce Rate in America

Divorces are a lifestyle change that can drastically affect a large portion or even the rest of one’s life. These events can cause depression and distress in the people that separate from each other, as well as their parents and the lives of children that may be involved. Divorces are very common and sometimes seem inevitable. Statistics on marriage express that the divorce rate in America has rapidly increased and it is predicted that according to local trends, it is likely that 40% of marriages will end in divorce. Learning how to cope with such events and prevent it from happening again or even at all is a very important topic because finding strategies for people to insert solid structure into their lives before or after a separation will help them find happiness again and be more productive in society (Raynish).

Marriage can be such an amazing part of life. It will have its ups and downs, so maintaining realistic standards of the romance in the relationship will make the highs outweigh the lows. It is so common for people to divorce and remarry these days. People seem to have a need for that serious commitment and love even if it has failed before (Feldberg, Kohen). Being consistent with the efforts required is very important. Learning how to make it work takes time and dedication, and once children are added to the mix, things can start to seem overwhelming. Breaking down the goals for a family will make things simple and clearer. The time and effort required would most likely be worth it.

The family is a group of people that should have strategy to work as a team and have a plan that organizes work and play. An efficient management system of time and money will lower stress levels and raise opportunity for families to experience more fun.

Financial and time pressures associated with spouses’ working lives play a huge role in the relation between work and problems during their marriage. Couples facing more financial problems and those spending less time together have a higher chance of relationship failure. The effects of the area that lack structure will be felt by the parents and the children alike.

The heads of the household should take the time to collect themselves first to make the home a positive atmosphere. The “honeymoon phase” seems to fade within a year of marriage. Time starts to be devoted to work and running the family, and quality time begins to evaporate on the back burner.  Major keys to maintaining happiness between the two parents is planning date nights regularly and making time to just talk and listen to each other. Proper communication that works for both parties is extremely important. Having a simple movie night or dinner date once or twice a month will bring so much joy and passion back into a relationship. The quality time talking and listening will help the couple continue to grow together, understand what each person wants and needs from the relationship, and will lower conflicts and stress levels if done properly (Poortman).

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Maintaining this may be more difficult when children are added to the mix, but it is possible with effort. Proper budgeting of time and money can designate nights and funds to plan the dates and hire a good babysitter that is trusted. Taking turns between both parents and a babysitter while working on homework and spending personal time with the children is very important for the household and for their future. There are things couples can do to help organize their household and prevent stressors that could possibly lead to break ups.

Proper organization will help maintain the bonds and love within the family and help the children have more positive attitudes at home as well as in school (Lachs).

Understanding that the way that the parents speak and the things that they do are absorbed by the entire family is very important for the growth and success of a family. Finding effective ways for the family to communicate, and how to love each other the right way will make major contributions to maintaining a positive household. Organization for the children like bedtimes, playtimes, work times, and proper discipline should be planned out as well.

Making work positive and fun, and making discipline a learning experience, not just a bad experience will be more beneficial to help children to cooperate, learn, and grow. Recognizing the strengths and weaknesses in family members and addressing them accordingly will also help the family grow. Praising children for hard work will motivate them, but over praising can have negative effects. Punishing children in the wrong way, such as abuse or other punishments, with no clear understanding will be unproductive and just make them sneaky. Balance is key.

Marriage and managing a family may seem tricky when focusing on it as a whole. Breaking down the parts and organizing the approach can lower stress levels and bring families back to a healthy balance. Time and effort will be needed in the beginning of building family structure. Along the way, revisions will be needed, but after the processes are in place, things will be simpler and a positive atmosphere will be easier to maintain in the household. Sometimes outside assistance may be necessary in certain circumstances. Asking for help should never be seen as weak, but as wise and humble. Putting in the effort to preserve one’s future and the future of one’s family should be the main priority for most people. Family and marriage therapy or hiring a life coach can be so helpful in making those necessary improvements as smoothly and as quickly as possible (Prouty, Markowski, Barnes).

Divorces are a lifestyle change that can drastically affect a large portion or even the rest of one’s life. These events can cause depression and distress in the people that separate from each other, as well as their parents and the lives of children that may be involved. Although statistics show the divorce rate in America is rapidly increasing, ways to prevent them are becoming simpler to grasp. Learning how to cope with such events and prevent it from happening or happening again will help people find strategies to insert solid structure back into their lives after and find happiness again and have a more productive life for themselves and their families.

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Works Cited

Feldberg, Roslyn Kohen, Janet Family Coordinator Family “Life in an Anti-Family Setting: A Critique of Marriage and Divorce” Apr 1976

Lachs, Mark S. Prevention “Divorce: Help With the Aftermath” Dec 2002

Poortman, Anne-Rigt “How Work Affects Divorce: The Mediating Role of Financial and Time Pressures” Journal of Family Issues, v26 n2 p168-195 Mar 2005

Prouty, Anne M. Markowski, Edward M Barnes, Howard L. “Using the Dyadic Adjustment Scale in Marital Therapy: An Exploratory Study” Family Journal Jul 2000

Raynish, Annie, Marygrove College “The Price of Divorce” Dec 2007